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My Simple Cowboy Wedding
The Old American West was a place where a man could spend a month’s pay in a day—a phrase that rings even more true in today’s age of hard drugs and persuasive speedboat salesmen. It was a place where...
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My Hero – Written By Justin Gawel at Age Seven
Although I have only been in this world for seven years, I can safely say that you are my true hero and will undoubtedly be for the rest of my time on this big blue marble. You’ve been there for me...
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Masturbation Etiquette: A Sticky Situation
Humans are a superficial species; a species who are quick to judge one another on how they handle themselves in public with the biggest red flag being if you are actually “handling yourself” in public....
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That’s Odd, Really, You Don’t Watch Any TV?
Hey, quick question, Hot Dog: how can you tell if someone doesn’t watch any television? Actually, it’s rather simple; for you see anyone who doesn’t watch TV will assuredly tell you right away how...
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Cheese Terrors
I’m dead tired, but I’m not going to fall asleep. No, this isn’t a repeat of when my butcher was grinding up amphetamines in my meat to get me hooked on his, less legitimate, side business, no, this...
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Everyday Hero
Color me impressed. Maybe it’s his apathetic demeanor or maybe it’s his apparent philosophy that blends self-confidence with a desire for perpetual comfort. Regardless, this man has me in awe. Truly a...
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Other People’s Bodies: The Terrifying Frontier
*My deepest apologies to everyone. I’ve been scrambling the last two weeks and haven’t posted. Going forward, it looks like I’ll be contributing to ThoughtCatalog too, but I’ll be trying to post...
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The Ying Yang Twins Taught Me Everything I Needed to Know About Talking to Women
Apathy and awkwardness—the two tenants most families are built on and what proved to be the very reasons my dad and I never had The Talk. Neither one of us wanted to, neither one was going to remind...
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A Lesson From Middle-School Sex Ed
It was seventh grade—a time for boys when masturbation is no longer a secret hobby but more a secret lifestyle. Sexuality was no mystery, still, we looked forward to sex education; mainly, because it...
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Everyday Hero
Color me impressed. Maybe it’s his apathetic demeanor or maybe it’s his apparent philosophy that blends self-confidence with a desire for perpetual comfort. Regardless, this man has me in awe. Truly a...
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Fun and Failure Both Start With Creative Liberties [Part 2/2]
Thank you, everyone, for tuning in last week. Now enjoy Part Two of another countless chapter in my saga of disappointing employers. Second Rejected Article: Homemade Bidet—All Systems Flow Years of...
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